During a workshop I attended once, the facilitator took us on a journey of self-leadership, that consisted of 3 pillars: leadership, lifestyle and legacy. An amazing insight hit me when being part of the audience.
At one point during the workshop, the facilitator gave us the assignment to think about our legacy. What will your legacy be? An intriguing question, because did you ever think about this? I know I didn’t, until I got this question. We got some time to think and write down our thoughts on the legacy we want to leave. And then, the moment came when the facilitator asked us to share our legacies with the group. And then… a long silence. After a while, some people started to share their thoughts and they were all beautiful. But that first moment of silence made me think.
Who wants to share?
After a visualisation exercise, we were asked to share what we saw during this visualisation. Again: silence. No one volunteered, until that moment when it became a bit uncomfortable. A first person started and another followed. And I must be honest here: I felt the same reluctance to share my visualisation. a few thoughts were going through my mind and they all came down to: ‘what will the rest of the group do or say when I share this?’ – even though I love everyone in the group and I know them well enough to know they would never laugh or make fun of me. But still. Eventually, I shared my visualisation anyway and everyone loved it.
I won’t put my hand up
Have you ever been in such a situation? When you feel inspired, you have new ideas, new thoughts and you feel your energy starting to flow? But you don’t share your amazing ideas with anyone, because you tell yourself a load of BS, like; ‘I don’t know how to express this in the right language, or ‘What if they all start to laugh or think I’m crazy?’, or ‘I’m not qualified enough to do this?’.
This deeply rooted fear that we have in all of us, comes down to a number of limiting beliefs: I’m not good enough, I’m not ready, I’m not qualified enough, I don’t have enough money. And I don’t claim to have all the answers to solve this, but I think there are a few steps we can take to deal with this fear.
Go beyond the fear
First of all, feel the reluctance to share your dream or thoughts with others. And accept that. Then take a look at the underlying belief. Why don’t you want to share your thoughts? What are you telling yourself? Whatever ‘excuse’ you’re using, it all comes down to a very basic human need: to be fully loved and accepted as we are. Deep down, we’re afraid to be rejected whenever we start expressing our thoughts, dreams and visions. Humans want to be deeply connected to other humans and the fear of a possibility of losing that connection, could stop us from doing and being what we really want.
Isn’t that sad? Because the moment we go beyond that fear and start working on living our dreams, magical things could happen. And we could be an inspiration for others to live their dreams as well. And one tiny water drop in the ocean could become a huge wave of inspiration, power and love. Love for all these beautiful, courageous human beings who feel the fear and do it anyway. Because they want to make the world a better place.
And that’s why I shared my visualisation with the group: within a year from now, I will be in New York, in an amazing theatre. It will be sold out, and people come to be inspired and ignited. And I’ll inspire them with my thoughts on authentic and fearless visibility, which means to truly love and accept yourself. You’re perfect just as you are and you can be and do and have anything you want.
And like you, I am on a journey to embrace that thought and loving every second of that transforming, sometimes painful, but mainly amazing journey.